Dear David

Dear David,

Thanks so much for getting back in touch with me today. I must say it has been a while, about five years I think. I was so pleased to have a personal letter through my door from you because there is so much I would like to talk with you about and so much that you have a duty as leader to address. However….

I was a bit disappointed that you spent most (97%) of your letter talking about your “dreadful” colleagues and “awful” possible future colleagues. In fact it was as if you did not have anything of any substance to say at all! At one point you made what sounded like a promise, I was listening… “that one of the other parties would bankrupt the country.” How do you know this with such certainty, please write back and let me know? Otherwise it just sounds like you are in a bit of a panic. 
Then after a whole side of a4 you signed off. You had said nothing about what you would do. You made no apology for deep and wounding cuts in local government funding. You just wasted an entire letter putting everyone else down. Do you talk about everyone like this? If you do I don’t expect anyone will want to work with you again. Maybe you are just feeling a bit cross, try talking to someone, it might help. 
But then at the end of your letter a PS. Great I thought, maybe an invitation for feedback or a real promise. But no, you’re just asking me to vote for you by saying something trite about job creation…. On this occasion I think I will pass. Perhaps if you write back with some substance rather than just slagging, then I might change my mind. Do write again, just try not to leave it so long next time. 
By the way, thanks for running the country for the last few years. I am not joking, it’s a really tough job and someone has to do it. I don’t agree with large chunks of what you have done, but I am still grateful that you have taken the time to be a leader. Whatever happens this week please do one thing for me…. Remember to keep on taking holidays and time off, it is so key as a leader to get proper rest and don’t listen to the press or anyone else who tells you otherwise. Enough for now and hope to see you at the beach more often.
yours sincerely