Four go back and all on track… I think.

Yet a year or more of being constantly on call has taken it’s toll

on

us

all.

Now all back to school.

I don’t do silence very well, it makes my legs itch.

But this quiet has been longed for.

The house returning to normality, the quiet rhythm of the day.

While I can wish that somethings never happened,

I can not wish away what I have learnt about myself and others.

I love the chaos and thrive in mess, but don’t do well without a space to rest.

I have changed forever yet I remain committed

to community,

knowing that I also need to step back on a regular basis.

to family,

yet even here I need my space, not hiding behind a paper or screen but so I can fully engage.

to God,

even when my mind can not compute and I wrestle with the truth

to Meg (my dear wife and best friend),

with whom I have shared many tears and learnt not to fear the sadness, we are closer now than ever.

to caring for myself,

I’m getting fitter, lighter, reflecting more and learning to live each day in the light of God’s grace.

In this return to normality I do not crave a lack of chaos, but simply the space to handle it well. To retain clear thinking where I can practise, loving God, neighbour and self.

Being present for me requires an empty head.

Reflecting on a difficult year and the start of a new one. On how we can so easily slip into survival and self protection, life is not easy, but life is better than just getting through.

Living beyond the pain of yesterday

Life leaves us hurting
Relationships are rarely easy
Parenting is painful
Leadership is lonely
Creativity always costly

Today I celebrate…. but it is not always like that

Shrink back
Pull away
Close off
Manage
Consume

Survival is key…. but living is better

Trust…
God, others, self…
Broken

I don’t want to walk on broken glass, it hurts my feet…

But today
I choose to walk
Though the pain of yesterday
Towards the hope of today

Diving head first into the wounded hands of the life giver
Thanking God for the gift of marriage, of children and of friends

Embracing

Risking

Creating

Leaving behind the drysuit of survival that numbed the pain

Life
as painful are you are
today I choose

There are often discussions about the roles of men and women in the church in the light of what scripture says (or does not say). Here are my thoughts on the subject in a talk called “The key to marriage”.

http://stmarymagdalene.org.uk/Media/Player.aspx?media_id=117229&file_id=127512

This last year has been tough and as the year draws to a close the natural process of reviewing has begun.

What am I grateful for? What do I want to change? I usually make a few resolutions, simple ones each year. Most of the time they are around health, relationship with God and people.

This year I think one simple one will do.

The year was tough, but we are all here and mostly sane, so I am very thankful. But the struggles have shown themselves on my waistline. When things have got difficult I have sort comfort and become comfortable. But it it not just my gut, it’s my thinking, praying, relating and leading that have all become a little weighed down with comfort.

So I resolve in 2014 to leave comfort behind and go for growth.

Once upon a time there was a man who lived in a house on the cliff top in Torquay. Everyone new that one day the house would fall down the cliff but it hadn’t happen yet so the man felt safe and did nothing except fill the house with life’s little luxuries. The views were wonderful and life was good.

Every so often a storm would come and a little of the cliff beneath the house would crumble away. But the house never fell into the sea. So the man did nothing except invite his friends to come and live in the house with him and enjoy the amazing views.

Then one day a big storm came (as happens about every 20-30 years) and the cliffs became sodden and soft. The people in the surrounding area became afraid and so they all sort shelter in the house. Even thought the winds blew they became a wonderful community.Then in the middle of the night the red cliff just crumbed and fell into the sea. Trees gone, garden gone, patio gone and the house? Well it began to crumble and the walls at one end fell into the sea. The house still stood but it was only a matter of time. The solid ground had gone but the house still stood, well just, so the man did nothing. Except now he had many guests. So he continued to equip the house and cook for everyone, he cut back a little but mostly he just carried on as normal, living in the house on the edge of the cliff that was falling into the sea.

One day the man got bad news, his money had dried up and so he had to make cut backs. He could have asked the people who where living with him what they should all do, he could have asked for help at a house down the road. But no, he thought the answer to his problems would be to get rid of all the people who where now living in his house seeking shelter and comfort from the storms. So with very little notice the man drew in his belt and proposed a new household budget that involved pulling down the house that was already so badly damaged.

He made no provision for all the people that had found care and protection living in his house. He looked for no alternative accommodation. He just put his hands in the air and called in the demolition crews.

If you stand in that place now the views are still fantastic. But the man’s cliff top house has gone. The wonderful community that had lived in his house crumbed like the cliffs and drifted away. Now they live wherever they can and have no shelter from the storm.

What happened to the man you ask? Well he just kept on ignoring the storm and the crumbling cliffs and doing nothing.

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Please sign the Torbay SOS petition and help to Save Our Services http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/torbay-council-save-our-services
Doing nothing is not an option.
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We know how uncomfortable change can be, especially if your a settler. Even for pioneers it can sometime be difficult because there is something in us that resists change even if we are the kind of person who relishes it, we can get to like things just as they are. 

We recently has some refurbishment done in our church kitchen. It was all about making space for new things, bigger teams so that we could do the things we have been called to do even better. Making a difference in others lives often involves change for us.

To make way for the new kitchen some things had to give. There was old pew that had been bolted to one of the walls many years ago. It had to go. Change happens, cheese gets moved an people get upset…. well on this occasion no one complained that the pew had been moved. The work on the new expanded kitchen was completed and we where getting ready for the grand reopening. Teams went into clean up the messes that have been made during the works and lay out the tables and chairs. The Living Room our community cafe was ready for it’s reopening. The night before I went and had a peek, to admire all the good work and I noticed something that was not intentional, but it was terrible and so true of how we are as people. The cheese had been moved back….

Well not the actual cheese, it not on the menu. But where there had been an old pew before the works someone had found two other pews, shorter ones, and placed them exactly where the old pew had been. A completely new kitchen had been fitted, but quite by accident someone had placed these two shorter pews in it’s place. The cheese was back in place. 

People get uncomfortable with change. They want to know where this cheese is at all times and it should always be where it has always been. Leaders bring change, but if you turn your back for a moment the culture, furniture and even cheese will return to how it was before. This is just how people and cultures are. Real change is possible but it requires people who are willing to keep on moving the cheese, even when people move it back.